#21: Comics Dialogue - Part II
Last week, in Creating Comics! I started discussing writing comics dialogue. Dialogue is tricky. On the one hand, as a visual medium both the art and story of a comic are more important than the dialogue or particular words chosen. On the other, nothing is more groan inducing or grating than awful dialogue. As I said last week in Part I of this article, writing good dialogue should be your goal. I started out by giving you three tips to consider when approaching dialogue. Today, I have three more for you. Let's get into it.
Tip #4: In these tough times, write economically.
You will write too much dialogue.
Trust me. You will. Writers like to write, and the words they put in their characters' mouths always seem like the most important words they write on a page. While action or panel descriptions are important, the dialogue and captions are the only words you write that the readers will actually get to see. As a result, many rookie writers tend to write way too many of them.
While writing economically is a central tenet of good screenwriting, it's even more important when writing for comics. In movies, fast talkers can squeeze in words, and a brilliant oratory performance can cover up wordiness to some extent. But in comics, every word you write actually has to fit somewhere on the page.
Steven Forbes turned me on to the following rule of thumb that was supposedly given to Alan Moore by his editors at DC comics. (If it's good enough for Alan Moore, it's good enough for you.)
- No more than 35 words per panel.
- No more than 25 words per word balloon or caption.
- No more than 120 words on a page.
As David Gallaher, writer of Zuda Comics'
High Moon, shared with me at a convention a while back, "The
sad thing is...comics readers today don't all love to read." David tries to
fill his balloons with 15 words or less, and is a definite subscriber to the
less is more philosophy of writing. In fact, he opened Season III
of High Moon with 4 completely wordless pages. (Note, this
strategy is usually only effective when you're working with an artist as
talented as High Moon's Steve Ellis.)
But do consider the necessity of the words you put on a page. Remember, the more words you have, the more art you're going to cover. Artists work too damn hard to have their work covered with fluff. So be economical, and make every word count.
Tip #5: Write with subtext, not "on the nose."
One of the most common critiques of novice writers is that their writing is "too on the nose." This seemingly catch-all phrase for bad writing describes dialogue that feels forced or unrealistic because it carries information the writer wants the audience to know said in a way a character would not actually say it at the time being delivered.
Want a simple "on the nose" check? When one of your characters verbalizes EXACTLY what they're feeling, 9 times out of 10, it's going to sound "on the nose."
Wait? So my characters shouldn't say what they're feeling? Should they say the opposite? Not exactly. Here's where subtext comes in. Give us humans some credit. We have a tremendous ability to get what we want or convey our desires or intentions without actually saying them aloud.
Here's an example. Like a girl? You could try walking up to her directly and saying, "I find you extremely attractive. I find myself fantasizing about what you must look like naked. I would really like to invite you to my bed. Boobs."
Hey, I'm no pick-up expert. Give it a try and get back to me. (Note: Ladies, this direct approach might actually work with guys. Be "on the nose" with us all you like.) Kidding aside, this isn't how we do things. Instead, we'll strike up conversation about something completely unrelated to hopping in the sack. You'll invite a girl out for "drinks" or "a movie" or fire off a "Going out tonight?" text. And the funny thing about subtext is that by not directly talking about what it is we want (sex, companionship, etc.) we are increasing the likelihood that we'll actually get it.
And it's the same with your writing. The more you can intimate what your characters think and feel BY NOT writing exactly what they think and feel, the sharper your dialogue is going to be. Clever dialogue is full of inference, intimation and innuendo. Your audience is smart, and a good approach is to always write as if your audience is just a little bit smarter than you are. You don't need to beat them over the head with your point to make it. The days of the cliched, overwritten comic book dialogue are [hopefully] over.
Here's a very short snippet of a rewrite I did of a single panel in the strip club scene of my online graphic novel Over that will illustrate some of the points I'm making here.
First Draft
Re-written Version
Note, there were a couple small changes to the dialogue made from first draft to final draft in this panel. I changed, "Why the long face" to "Why the sad mug," just because the first sounded too much like the set-up to a bad joke. But really what I wanted to point out was Felix's line change. What is Felix feeling at this moment in time? Well, he misses his girlfriend. And, in the first draft, that's exactly what he verbalizes...to a stripper no less. While there's a certain empathy that can come from a character baring his soul to a stripper who could care less, it didn't feel right when I wrote it.
So what did I do? I replaced that "on the nose" line with, "You're wearing her perfume." Notice, the subtext is EXACTLY the same. Felix misses his girlfriend. The stripper gets it. The audience will get it. But Felix did not have to say it. And it's better dialogue specifically because he didn't say it.
Tip #6: Aim for "realistic sounding" rather than realistic dialogue.
"Hello?"
"What's up, dude?"
"Hey, man, what's up?"
"Not much man. What's up with you?"
"Ah, not a whole lot."
"Cool. So, what time are people getting together tonight..."
The above is realistic dialogue. In fact, I've probably had that conversation, or something very close to it, thousands of times in my life. It's as if we as humans need to warm up before actually getting into the heart of a conversation with a lot of "What's up? What's ups?" Call it verbal foreplay or what you will. But just because this is how people actually talk, does not mean it's how your story people should talk.
Think about it. In a comic, that exchange would take up two panels at least, to fit in all those word balloons. Two panels of fluff that do nothing to reveal character or move the story forward or any of the functions of good dialogue. Sorry, but you don't have two panels to waste on fluff.
Listen to how people actually talk sometime, and try to capture it word for word. Capture every grunt, every pause, every "um" and "like," every run on sentence or sentence that isn't finished. Real dialogue isn't fun to read. So don't write it.
As a writer, look out for chitty-chat in your scripts, and CUT IT OUT WITH A HATCHET. Chitty-chat is any dialogue that doesn't perform one of the functions listed in Tip #1 last week. It's any dialogue that does not move the story forward. Most conversation scenes in your script should be started mid-conversation. Doing this does two important things. First, it allows you to cut right to the important part of the conversation. Why is this exchange important to your story? If it's not important, it should be cut. If it is, let's get right to the good stuff and then be on our way. And second, entering mid-conversation draws the audience in. It taps into our eavesdropping proclivities. What are these people talking about? This trick engages the audience, which is exactly your goal.
BONUS TIP: Read It Aloud!
Here's a final tip for you. After you've written and polished your dialogue to the point you're happy it's serviceable, read it aloud. Better yet, have someone else read it aloud, or record it and listen back to it. If it still holds up to a read aloud, it's probably ready to print. If not, it needs another polish. Sometimes it's only when you hear your words actually spoken that it becomes clear what's working and what isn't.
So, there you have it, six + one tips for writing strong dialogue. Follow them and your dialogue will be good. Write good dialogue long enough, and who knows...someday it might just become great.
NEXT: Baltimore Comic Con - My First Big Show
Tyler James is a comics creator residing in Newburyport, Massachusetts. He writes and draws Over, a romantic comedy online graphic novel updating every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He also writesTears of the Dragon, an epic fantasy webcomic that updates on Thurdays. His work has been featured on Zuda Comics, and includes Interrogation Control Element, a political action thriller, and Super Seed, the story of the world's first super powered fertility clinic. When not making comics, Tyler works as a game designer and content producer for a software company..
Contact Tyler directly at
tylerjamescomics@gmail.com, keep up with him at his blog, or follow him on Twitter.
Previous Columns
1: Big Goals
2: Resolutions
3: The Great Idea
4: Research Part I
5: Research Part II
6: The Killer Pitch Part I - The High Concept
7: The Killer Pitch Part II - The Synopsis
8: Pay Your Artists
9: Zuda Comics - A Tale of Five Submissions
10: Creating Great Characters Part I (Or Why Wolverine is Everywhere)
11: Creating Great Characters Part II (Or Why Wolverine is Everywhere)
12: Structurally Sound- The Beginning
14: Structurally Sound - The Middle
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